“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17
I still remember hating my high school English teacher... but let's jump in to why I am writing about a quote from the bible. What is that about? First off, I love the book of Proverbs because it is filled with one-liners like this, but also The Providence Forge is more than just Stoic philosophy, it is the blending of ancient wisdom that transcends time with the faith that I have come to embrace over the years. Some may see this as a contradiction, the merging of pagans and Christians, but I do not see it like that at all. First off, the ancient Stoics were not atheist or even secularist, but many were very committed to the faith of that time. Marcus Aurelius’ writings show this, but his actions are also well documented in the honoring of the gods, even visiting the ancient pilgrimage and sanctuary site of Eleusis where he partook a rite of passage that is described as “dying before you die.” Secondly, there is something to be said to have a foundation in your faith, whatever your higher power might be, and to apply it with your every day actions with the wisdom the Stoic philosophy brings.
The quote from Proverbs also has a very similar counterpart that comes from Seneca the Younger, from his Moral Letters to Lucilius, (letter 7, section 8) "Associate with those who will improve you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve. The process is mutual; for people learn while they teach." When I read these words of wisdom, I think about the people in my life and how much I can learn from them. I have a friend that challenges me, typically from my religious life (but also my personal life) that asks the hard questions; to make me stop and truly step back and focus on my thoughts before responding with an answer that is robotic and preconditioned. I have been blessed with multiple coworkers that bring the best out of me in many different ways that are extremely positive and forces me to grow with them. The saying by JFK "A rising tide lifts all boats" truly applies to the team I am on. My wife and kids and extended family all bring something that helps me learn and grow. In fact it was eye opening the first time I learned from my daughters, and I've come to embrace that they too can help me mature into the person I want to be.
Not all interactions with people can be positive but still sharpens yourself as a person however. I have learned this the hard way, knowing that I will not behave in a certain way because I witnessed poor behavior in someone else. These are the most difficult lessons from Proverbs 27:17 because even people that you may love, either through friendship or with family may sharpen you in a negative way. This could even be pain that lasts for years, as it has for me, but as long as you have forged yourself in the fire of life and come out sharper and stronger, that is all that matters. Difficult memories or painful mistakes should not be ignored, but embraced – because ignoring them will only make the pain last longer and have a negative impact on your overall psyche. You may not even recognize the pain that is hidden within you, but it comes out in unexpected ways. Embracing that pain and learning from it is the only way to move forward and build your better self. It also helps me appreciate the people in my life that brings me purpose. There is a Turkish proverb that states, “If you never taste a bad apple, You will never appreciate a good apple.” I think this applies to people too.
Lastly, I would like to mention that when I think of this phrase, I unexpectedly thought of an English teacher from high school that challenged me in ways that I did not appreciate at that time. I am a lover of history and that comes naturally to me, but the readings from English class especially bored me beyond belief. On top of that, living in a difficult at home and going through things that caused distractions in school were at its peak. This teacher did not know any of this, but it didn’t matter to him. He challenged me to do my best and in one instance made me rework a paper I had written multiple times until it was corrected to his standards. I hated him for that. Conversely, I loved my history teacher who made class fun, interesting and I enjoyed. Looking back however, I grew as a person from the aggravation and difficulties the English teacher put on me.
Moving forward my friends, I have embraced the idea that everyone I come in contact with can sharpen my iron, from good experiences and bad. One of my values that I hold dear is that I will learn from anyone.
Until next time, Forge On!
Musonius
Reference:
Moral letters to Lucilius, Letter 7 can be read here
Check out Proverbs 27 here